ADHD vs. Anxiety: Understanding the Differences in Kids and Teens

Parenting a child with big emotions, boundless energy, or a knack for getting stuck in their own thoughts can feel like running a marathon with no finish line. Trust me, I’ve been there. As a parent of a pre-teen navigating both ADHD and anxiety, I know the constant questioning when tough behaviors and big feelings pop up: Is it ADHD? Is it anxiety? Is it both? Or is it just my kid being a kid? Spoiler alert: it’s often all of the above.

Figuring it out can be tough. ADHD and anxiety can mimic each other so well that even the pros sometimes have to pause and squint to separate the two. But knowing the difference can be life-changing for your kid—and for you.

The ADHD-Anxiety Overlap

Here’s the thing: ADHD and anxiety are masters of disguise. They often wear the same symptoms, and it’s not uncommon for them to hang out together. Let’s start with where they overlap:

• Focus Problems: ADHD brains are like browsers with 57 tabs open. Anxiety brains? They’re stuck refreshing the same tab over and over again. Either way, your kid’s homework isn’t getting done.

• Restlessness: Is your kid pacing the room because they’re bored (classic ADHD) or because their nervous energy needs somewhere to go (hello, anxiety)? Sometimes it’s both.

• Avoidance: Whether it’s math homework, chores, or even social events, ADHD kids might avoid tasks because they’re overwhelming or uninteresting. Anxious kids avoid them because they feel scary or stressful. Either way, avoidance doesn’t get the dishes done.

Key Differences Between ADHD and Anxiety

So how do you tell which is which? Here are a few clues:

1. Time Management: ADHD often looks like missing deadlines, forgetting appointments, or showing up late because time got away from them. Anxiety can look like obsessively planning or arriving way too early to avoid any chance of things going wrong.

2. Triggers: Anxiety is usually tied to specific situations (like a test or a social interaction). ADHD challenges are more consistent and show up no matter the context—home, school, or the grocery store.

3. Sleep Patterns: ADHD kids struggle to fall asleep because their brains are replaying the day in fast-forward (or, let’s be real, thinking about dinosaurs and Minecraft). Anxious kids can’t sleep because they’re overanalyzing every awkward thing they’ve ever said, or they’re worried about that upcoming math quiz.

4. Perfectionism: Kids with anxiety often hold themselves to impossibly high standards, worrying about every little mistake. ADHD kids tend to rush through things, sometimes missing details because they’re already onto the next thing.

When It Might Be Both

Here’s where it gets even trickier: ADHD and anxiety often co-occur. In fact, about 25-40% of kids with ADHD also have an anxiety disorder (Journal of the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry).

And here’s how they can fuel each other: Imagine a child with ADHD who struggles to focus on assignments they find boring or overwhelming. They procrastinate or miss key instructions, which leads to falling behind in class. This then creates anxiety about catching up or performing to an impossibly high standard they’ve set for themselves. That anxiety, in turn, makes it even harder to focus, creating a frustrating cycle for both the child and their parents.

Another example: A child with ADHD might impulsively blurt out an answer in class or interrupt a peer during a conversation. Later, they may ruminate on these moments, worrying excessively about whether they embarrassed themselves or hurt someone’s feelings. The anxiety grows, making them hesitant to participate in future interactions, which further isolates them and heightens feelings of inadequacy.

How Therapy Can Help

At Hive Wellness Collective, our goal is to help kids feel safe, supported, and confident in who they are. Therapy is about finding strategies and tools that work with how your child’s brain processes the world, embracing their unique way of thinking while empowering them to navigate challenges with confidence. Here’s how we help:

For ADHD:

• We focus on building executive functioning skills, like organization and time management, to empower your child in ways that honor their natural strengths.

• We help your child understand their brain and find strategies to channel their energy and creativity effectively.

For Anxiety:

• We teach practical tools for managing worry and building confidence in stressful situations.

• We focus on emotional regulation, helping your child feel grounded while validating their experiences.

When It’s Both:

Our therapists create individualized plans that honor the interplay between ADHD and anxiety, ensuring your child feels supported without feeling like they need to fit into a mold.

When to Seek Professional Help

If you’re wondering whether therapy could help, here are some signs it might be time to reach out:

• Your child’s challenges are affecting their schoolwork, friendships, or daily routines.

• They’re showing signs of distress, like frequent meltdowns, irritability, or withdrawal.

• You feel stuck or unsure how to support them—and that’s okay.

Therapy can provide clarity and relief, not just for your child but for your whole family. At Hive Wellness Collective, we’re here to help you navigate this journey with compassion and expertise.

What’s Next?

Here’s the good news: Your child’s story is just beginning. Therapy can help them build the skills they need to navigate life in a way that feels authentic and empowering. At Hive Wellness Collective, we’re here to guide you both every step of the way.

If you’re ready to take the next step, let’s chat. With a team who truly understands, we’re here to help your child thrive, whether they’re navigating ADHD, anxiety, or both.