School Anxiety: What It Is, Why It Happens & 10 Ways to Help Your Child Cope

If your child struggles with school anxiety, you’re not alone. Whether it shows up as stomachaches before school, big feelings about leaving home, or constant worries about the school day, it can be tough to watch your child go through it. But the good news? There are ways to support them.

In this post, we'll walk through 10 strategies to help your child manage school anxiety. From calming morning routines to simple coping skills, these tips are all about empowering your child to build confidence and feel more at ease in their school environment.

Understanding School Anxiety

School anxiety is more than just “not wanting to go to school.” It can look like stress in the mornings, feeling overwhelmed by assignments, or even physical symptoms like headaches or nausea. For some kids, it’s social anxiety around making friends or speaking in class; for others, it might be fear of academic pressure or feeling out of place.

If your child is struggling, know that it’s not a sign of weakness or failure—it’s simply a sign that school feels tough right now. And that’s okay. It’s possible to find ways for them to feel more comfortable, connected, and confident in school.

What to Watch For: Signs and Symptoms

If you’re noticing some changes in your child, here are a few common signs of school anxiety:

• Physical symptoms like headaches, stomachaches, or fatigue, especially on school mornings.

• Emotional shifts like irritability, mood swings, or expressing worries about school.

• Behavioral changes like refusal to go to school, avoiding homework, or wanting to stay home more often.

• Worrying thoughts like “What if I fail?” or “What if something bad happens?”

By recognizing these signs, you can start understanding what your child is feeling—and how to help.

What Causes School Anxiety?

There’s no single cause for school anxiety. It can stem from a range of factors, like:

• Transitions and changes: Starting a new school year, switching schools, or having a different teacher can feel overwhelming.

• Academic pressure: Fear of failing, worry about grades, or the stress of keeping up with classwork can contribute to anxiety.

• Social dynamics: Struggles with friendships, bullying, or peer pressure can make school feel like a stressful place.

• Traumatic experiences: A significant life event, such as a family loss, illness, or change at home, can impact how safe or comfortable your child feels at school.

• Underlying mental health challenges: School anxiety may also be part of a larger picture, like generalized anxiety or social anxiety.

If you’re feeling unsure about what’s behind your child’s anxiety, a therapist at Hive Wellness Collective can help you understand what’s going on and find strategies that work for your family.

The Impact of School Anxiety on Your Child

School anxiety doesn't just affect what happens in the classroom—it can spill over into every part of your child’s life. It might show up as struggles with schoolwork, withdrawal from friends, trouble sleeping, or low self-esteem. Over time, this anxiety can make your child feel disconnected from learning and less confident in their ability to handle challenges.

It’s normal to feel concerned or even overwhelmed when you see your child struggling. But remember, school anxiety is something they can work through—and with the right support, they can start to feel more secure, empowered, and able to take on school with a stronger sense of self.

10 Strategies to Help Your Child Cope with School Anxiety

Now let’s dive into some practical ways to support your child. Here are 10 strategies to help them navigate their school anxiety:

1. Create a Calming Morning Routine.
   A peaceful start to the day can set the tone for how your child feels about going to school. Keep things consistent and predictable—whether it’s listening to music while getting dressed, having breakfast together, or taking five minutes to talk before heading out the door.

2. Teach Relaxation Techniques.
   Help your child practice simple coping skills like deep breathing, grounding exercises, or progressive muscle relaxation. These tools can help them self-soothe when they start to feel overwhelmed.

3. Validate Their Feelings.
   Let your child know that it’s okay to feel anxious and that you’re there to support them. A simple, “I know school feels hard right now, and that’s okay,” can go a long way in helping them feel understood.

4. Work Through Challenging Situations Together.
   If your child is worried about a specific situation (like a presentation or a test), talk it through. Help them come up with a plan or how they would work through some “what if” scenarios so they can feel prepared.

5. Encourage Gradual Exposure.
   If your child is avoiding certain school situations, help them face them one step at a time. For example, if they’re anxious about going to the cafeteria, start with small exposures, like walking through it when it’s empty, and work up to eating there during lunch.

6. Promote Self-Care and Play.
   Make sure your child has opportunities for play and relaxation. Whether it’s drawing, sports, or just having unstructured playtime, these moments can help balance out school stress.

7. Create a “Calm Down” Space at Home.
   Designate a comfy, quiet space in your home where your child can go when they need to decompress. This could be a cozy corner with a soft blanket and a few favorite books, or even a tent or nook where they can take some deep breaths.

8. Role-Play Social Situations.
   If your child struggles with anxiety around social interactions at school, role-play different scenarios together. Practicing what to say or do in different situations can help build their confidence.

9. Encourage Positive Self-Talk.
   Help your child identify any negative thoughts they might have about school (like “I can’t do this” or “Everyone will laugh at me”) and work on reframing them to something more balanced and realistic (like “I can handle this” or “It’s okay to make mistakes”).

10. Celebrate Wins, Big and Small.
    When your child makes progress—even if it’s something small, like raising their hand in class or getting through the school day without tears—acknowledge it. Celebrating those wins can build their confidence and help them feel proud of themselves.

Seeking Professional Help for School Anxiety

Every child’s journey with anxiety is unique. Sometimes, school anxiety might need extra support beyond what you can do at home. A mental health professional, like one of our amazing child therapists at Hive Wellness Collective, can work with your child to build coping skills, address any underlying concerns, and help them feel more confident at school. At Hive, therapy isn’t about “fixing” your child—it’s about giving them the tools to manage anxiety and supporting them in a way that fits their needs.

If you’re interested in exploring therapy for your child or want to talk through your concerns, Hive Wellness Collective is here to help. Reach out to us today to learn more about how we can support your family and help your child navigate their school anxiety.